He does not need to branch out and gain more recognition and individual praise from the music community.That is what you are there for (see The Support Factor). On top of that, we’re worried about you and how bored you are.
Musicians have an uncanny ability to send shivers down the pants of even their most a-sexual of onlookers.
Even the ugliest asshole on the planet, wielding his/her musical weapon of choice in front of a crowd, can garner the underwear-throwing attention of an audience.
A few years ago, I had to swear off dating musicians. unless he’s being financially supported by Mommy and Daddy. Twenty-something and thirty-something men who don’t pay their own bills have a warped view of reality. To this day I can still remember an ex-boyfriend’s most ardent groupie: she once showed up at his apartment unannounced while I was over because she was “just in the neighborhood.” He thought she was ridiculous, but he had to be polite to her because she was such a major fan.
I’d been dating them since high school, both casual guitar-noodlers and career musicians who had songs on CW shows and their faces on T-shirts. If you’re comfortable with long absences, then this is great. Expect to pay for more than your share/everything, but don’t get trapped into supporting him financially at the expense of your own career. While there are plenty of musicians who have day jobs, there are than a few trust fund brats. Think Mel on “Flight Of The Conchords”: mostly harmless, just annoying. A song is not a present (at least in my book), unless your name is Elton John and the song is “Your Song.” But if you date a musician, especially an impoverished musician, he’s going to write you a song in lieu of a more appropriate gift. Blame it on going onstage every night at 11, but a lot of successful musicians are creatures of the night.
All of these tips work just as well for boyfriends of female musicians too, by the way.
Or boyfriends of boyfriends, or girlfriends of girlfriends -- whatever turns you on, as they say. Don't Yoko Ono Seriously, it's the biggest cliché in the book -- do you want to be a part of it? He works very hard, but he is not always better than the rest of his band.I have nothing but the nicest things to say about most of them . It’s normal to feel a little jealous, but there’s no point in getting too insecure because this will happen after show. If I’m in a relationship with someone, I of course want to support their career, but going to a bunch of gigs, especially ones that are late at night, can be a pretty hearty time commitment. Speaking as one of those people, it takes awhile to develop thick skin. This is another fact: unless he and his bandmates are explicitly sober, they’re going to be around alcohol and probably drugs, too, and oftentimes getting it for free. This is a saying from my friend, our former “Mind Of Man” columnist John De Vore. Don’t take my swearing-off musicians as a warning, per se. They have intense relationships with their band mates that will be more important to them than the relationship they have with you. It’s a wonder anyone in a band has time for a romantic relationship given how much time they spend bickering with each other over big egos, women, money, and God knows what else. So handle with care: the sweet, sensitive guy who writes you love songs is also going to be sensitive about that nasty Pitchfork commenter. Your musician boo may not write songs about you, exactly, but about your relationship or love in general. In the spirit of our Valentine’s Day issue, which is brimming with love . I’ve sat on an amp against the wall and wondered what I should do. The only exception to this rule is if you live together and sound check is an errand you must run in between going to Walgreen’s and going to Costco. of cynicism, here is a guide to relationship DON’Ts when dating a musician in a band. Even as a girl, I wholeheartedly defend the no-girlfriends rule. I’ve certainly been that girl who's gone to a dude’s band practice. Please, for the love of God, don’t go to sound check.Again and again I’d fall for the sensitive guitar player who wears eyeliner … But maybe you will be bothered by him missing your birthday because he has a gig in New Jersey, or inclined to paranoia that he’s got “a girl in every port.” Also, if you have pets or kids together, you should expect to do more of the care when he’s on tour. Again, these people aren’t worth getting jealous or insecure about. I might possibly be bitter because I got a song for Valentine’s Day one year which appeared to have been written that same day. If you’re someone who works a 9-to-5 job and requires a full night’s sleep like I do, this is not a match. This is just a fact about all creative folks — writers like myself, actors, musicians, whatever.